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This is the Transcript for Episode Twenty-Two of this Roleplay's Total Drama Action. Find the main article for it here!

 Stop THIS EPISODE BEGINS Stop
  • Chris : Last time on Total Drama Action!
  • Chris : We played pretty princess!
  • Chris : and Gwen was the princess!
  • Chris : I brought in Beth and Harold to help out with the challenge, and as usual, they were useless!
  • Chris : José flirted with Gwen, which made Heather very jealous!
  • Chris : In the end, José won, and got to spend a romantic evening with Heather!
  • Chris : Or did he...?
  • Chris : Find out now, on TOTAL!
  • Chris : DRAMA!
  • Chris : ACTION!
 Stop SCENE CUTS TO JOSÉ AND HEATHER'S DINNERStop
  • Heather *at dinner* Sooooo...
  • José : Soo! How's your steak?
  • Heather Too chewy!
  • José : Yeah! Chef really can't cook!
  • Heather Tell me about it!
  • José : So! What do you think the challenge will be like tomorrow?
  • Heather Probably crap
  • Heather What were you doing with Gwen?
  • José : Oh that! It's just a strategy! I don't really like her if that's what you think.
  • Heather Strategy huh...
  • Heather Ive already had Gwen steal one of my boyfriends before you know!
  • José : Yeah! Flirting with her so she'll develop a crush on me, and in return, I crush her!
  • Heather Sure, I still don't appreciate how you can just toy with my feelings though
  • José : I didn't mean to! I'm so sorry hermosa! *kisses Heather's hand*
  • Heather Hmph! *Walks off*
  • José : *Conf* Heather's so jealous! My plan is working smoothly!
  • Heather *conf* It's all part if the plan. Jose is a romantic, and if it sounds like I'm leaving him, he'll be my b****!
  • Gwen : *Conf* What was José doing? I mean, it was kind nice to have someone to notice my good looks! But that's what Zeke's for! Not some Spanish Satan!
Stop THE NEXT DAY Stop
  • Duncan : *walks out of the bathroom* That was a nice shower!
  • Noah : Aw man! Duncan! You used all of the hot water!
  • Heather Jerk!
  • Duncan : Oops! Sorry! *laughs*
  • Geoff *sobbing* I have bad news
  • Duncan : What? Did someone wreck a big party?
  • Geoff My fish... passed away last night
  • Geoff *bursts into tears*
  • Duncan : Sparkles was still alive? I thought Mal flushed him after the Go-Kart thing!
  • Geoff I saved him
  • Geoff But now he's deaaaad!!!!!
  • Duncan : How'd he die
  • Geoff I dont knoooooooooow!
  • Gwen : *walks into the showers* Hey! Who used all the hot water again?
  • Duncan : Well, I better be going!
  • Geoff Aren't you going to pay respect?
  • Duncan : I would, but it's a goldfish! Not a grandmother!
  • Geoff How... could you!!!
  • Geoff *pushes away Duncan*
  • Duncan : Ugh! Fine! Sparkles is in a better place and I hope he's doing well in... Goldfish Heaven!
  • Geoff You better hope!!!!
  • Geoff *wails
  • Duncan : Geoff! Listen! You can buy another goldfish! They are literally a dollar! *gives Geoff a dollar* Go get another Sparkles!
  • Geoff How dare you! Sparkles will never be replaced!
  • Geoff *shoves bowl on Duncan's head*
  • Duncan : Uh, didn't you say you had a fish named Sparkles before the Animal Buddy challenge?
  • Geoff No! NOOOOOOOO!
  • Geoff *runs away*
  • Duncan : *Conf* *takes the bowl off his head* Geoff has gone insane! Wait, why do I care?
  • Heather What's up with him?
  • Duncan : His stupid fish died!
  • Heather Oh, pffft!
  • Duncan : How about you? How are things with José?
  • Heather Don't ask!
  • Duncan : That bad huh?
  • Heather Yep
  • José : *walks into the showers* Hey! Who used all the hot water?
  • Duncan : *laughs*
  • Chris : *with Vin and Arnold* Ok Cast! Gather 'round!
  • José : *gets dressed*
  • Chris : It's time for today's challenge!
  • Chris : Too bad Geoff!
  • Chris : Meet me at the big stage in 10!
Stop 10 HOURS LATER Stop
  • Chris : Seriously guys!
  • Duncan : Dude! You said big stage! And this is the dumpy Gilded Chris arena!
  • Geoff *sees the ghost of Sparkles* Ahhhh! he's on the staaaaage!
  • Chris : *looks on the stage* Uhh! Geoff! Who's on the Stage?
  • Geoff *walks on stage* I'M SORRY! I WILL AVENGE YOU!
  • Chris : Uhh. Vin? Arnold? What's he talking about?
  • Vin Don't know, don't care
  • Arnold Something about a fish?
  • Chris : Huh!
  • Geoff *picks up Arnold by shirt* HER NAME IS SPARKLES!
  • Geoff *Throws to the ground*
Stop FLASHBACK Stop
  • Chris : *driving Chef's jeep, and accidentally runs over Sparkles*
Stop BACK TO PRESENT Stop
  • Chris : I wonder what happened!
  • Vin wow, for once I'm not the one being physically abused!
  • Geoff *slaps Vin*
  • Vin spoke too soon
  • Chris : Anyway! Today is Rock & Roll day!
  • Chris : You all will be writing songs!
  • Geoff But...
  • Chris : You have 5 minutes to do so, starting NOW!
  • Geoff Fine, FOR SPARKLES!
Stop 5 MINUTES ARE UP Stop
  • Chris : Ok! Geoff! You go first!
  • Geoff ok *crying* "Sparkles the Goldfisha' by Geoff. *to the tune of Minnie the Moocher* Folks, here's a story about Sparkles the Goldfish She was a my best friend and my come-true wish But now she’s floating, dead and frail But Sparkles had a heart as big as a whale Hidee hidee hidee hi Hode hode hode ho Hee dee hee dee hee dee hee A hidee hidee hidee ho SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARKLESSSSS!!
  • Chris : Uhhhh ok then!
  • 75px *sees Sparkle's ghost rise into the sky*
  • Chris : No me, Chef and Arnold will judge the song!
  • Arnold 4!
  • Chris : I give it a 5
  • Chef : I give it a 1!
  • Geoff HOW DARE YOU!
  • Chris : In all! Geoff gets 10 points!
  • Chris : Heather! You'll go next!
  • Heather ok *walks on stage* 'Whip Them' by Heather *to the tune of 'Whip It'* Crack that whip! Give the jerks the slip! And when my mind starts to crack, I’ll break all of your backs! When a goth girl comes along... You must whip her! When the Spaniard stays too long... You must whip him! When you guys won’t SHUT THE ******...-ong You must whip them! Now whip them Into shape! Shut them up, Get straight, Go forward, Move ahead, Try to defend it, You’re going home, So whip them! Whip them good!
  • Chris : Nice!
  • Chris : I give it a 9!
  • Chef : I give it a 10!
  • Arnold 10! That was sweet!
  • Chris : Nice Heather!
  • Chris : Duncan! You're up!
  • Duncan : *walks up on stage* "Die with Me" by Duncan *plays the guitar for Dive*Rock On, Rock On, YEAH! Live long Rock On At ease, at ease, YEAH! Everyone is gone wrong! Rock On! Rock On! YEAH! Everyone is gone wrong! At ease, at ease, YEAH! You can leave them pay yeah! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! Die! Die! Die! Die with MEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Die! Die! Die! Die with Me! Die with Me!
  • Chris : Nice! I give it a 10!
  • Chef : I loved it! I give it a 10!
  • Arnold : I give it a 10! Great song!
  • Chris : Nice Duncan! You have 30 points!
  • Duncan : Sweet!
  • Chris : José! You're up!
  • José : *walks up on stage* "La Hermosa" by José
  • *to the tune of "La Cucaracha*
  • La hermosa, la hermosa, ya no puede parecer más hermosa. porque le falta, porque no tiene, marijuana pa' fumar. Me robaste el corazón, ya la llevan a enterrar entre cuatro zopilotes, y un ratón de sacristán.
  • Chris : Nice! I give it a 8!
  • Chef : I give it a 8
  • Arnold : I give it a 10!
  • Chris : José! You have 26 points!
  • José : Awesome!
  • José : That song was for Heather!
  • Heather : *blushes*
  • Heather : *Conf* I didn't understand anything besides "hermosa"! But whatever he sang, it was hermosa!
  • Chris : Ok! Gwen! Your up!
  • Gwen : I didn't write a song!
  • Chris : Of course you didn't!
  • Chris : I guess we move on to Noah!
  • Noah : *sighs* Ok! *walks up on stage*
  • *to the tune of Under the Bridge*
  • Noah : Oh I could care less if you like this song! I wish I didn't have to sing this! But I have to, so this is what I have to sing... Oh how I really have this stupid challenge! It's as stupid as Cody! I wish I didn't have to sing this! Oh please let me stop, because I'm gettin bored!
  • Noah : I meant every word!
  • Chris : Wow! That was, um, great! \
  • Chris : I give it a 6!
  • Chef : I give it an 8!
  • Arnold : I give it a 2!
  • Chris : Noah! You have 16 points!
  • Noah : Cool!
  • Chris : So according to the points... Duncan wins!
  • Duncan : Awesome!
  • Chris : Duncan has immunity!
  • Chris : Now time to got to the Gilded Chris Awards Ceremony!
Stop SCENE SWITCHES TO GILDED CHRIS AWARDS CEREMONY Stop
  • Chris : Ok! Duncan has immunity, so not votes for him!
  • Chris : Now! Cast your votes!
  • Chris : The following are safe...
  • Chris : Duncan!
  • Chris : José
  • Chris : Heather!
  • Chris : Noah!
  • Chris : Gwen and Geoff, you are LOW!
  • Chris : The final Gilded Chris goes to...
  • Chris : IS...
  • Chris : Gwen! Sorry Geoff! Your out!
  • Gwen : *catches Gilded Chris*
  • Geoff : Aww man! I'm sorry Sparkles! I wanted to win for you!
  • Chris : Interns! Escort Geoff to the Lame-o-sine! Maybe a mental hospital too!
  • Vin : *takes Geoff by the arm*
  • Geoff : *knocks Vin out cold*
  • Arnold : *pushes Geoff into the Lame-o-sine*
  • Geoff : *drives off* SPARKLES!
  • Vin : *wakes up* Ugh! Why is it always me?
  • Chris : Because it's funny!
  • Vin : I hate you!
  • Chris : I know! Well, 15 down and 5 to go! See who get sent home next! On TOTAL!
  • Chris : DRAMA!
  • Chris : ACTION!
  • Geoff : SPARKLES!
Stop THIS EPISODE HAS ENDED Stop

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